Adapting to a new generation of golfers

10 Funniest Golf Jokes

By Aidan McCusker

Jokes are a helpful tool to interact with new golfers in your foursome or a way to be entertained during a round of golf with old friends. There are a variety of different people that play golf and love the sport, but golf can be frustrating at times. Telling  jokes during your next round will ease frustration and help golfers change their mindset. Here are 10 of the funniest golf jokes we were able to find. 

  • Golf is enjoyable like Eggs: Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white, sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy some more.

Golf balls are like eggs

  • A classic: Why do golfers always carry a spare pair of trousers with them? In case they get a hole in one.  
  • Greens OK?: A guy on vacation finishes his round, goes into the clubhouse. The head pro says, “did you have a good time out there?” The man replied “fabulous, thank you.” “You’re welcome,” said the pro. “How did you find the greens?” Said the man: “Easy. I just walked to the end of the fairways and there they were
  • Drowning your sorrows: After a particularly poor round, a golfer spotted a lake as he walked despondently up the 18th. He looked at his caddie and said, “I’ve played so badly all day, I think I’m going to drown myself in that lake.” The caddie, quick as a flash, replied, “I’m not sure you could keep your head down that long.”

Drowning sorrows, funniest golf jokes

  • The fisherman: What is the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? When a golfer lies, he doesn’t have to bring anything home to prove it.

Looking to have some fun on the course? Check out the Top 5 best golf pranks

  • Marriage Made with a Long Putt : You spend too much time thinking about golf! Do you even remember the day we got married? Of course I do! It was the same day I sank that 45-foot putt.
  • The Rider: After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, "I've been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but what's a rider? The pro said, "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually get in the golf cart and ride to it."

Image courtesy of

  • Lighting Strike: What should you do if your round of golf is interrupted by a lightning storm? Walk around holding your 1-iron above your head, because even Mother Nature can’t hit a 1-iron.
  • What else are doctors good at besides there occupation: Where can you find 100 doctors all at the same place on any given day?  A golf course!!"
  • Did you know this About Scottish People: Do you know why there are 18 holes on a golf course? Because that's how long it took the Scotts who invented the game to finish their bottle of whiskey!

Scottish golfers drink whiskey

Share your favorite golf jokes with us on Twitter (@nextgolfer)! 

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